Thursday, 11 February 2010

Bereavement Visiting Training

I have just completed Bereavement Visiting Training and have a certificate to prove it.



We were a happy group of people. I suppose that the fact that we gelled so well was because we all had the desire to help people who were having trouble getting to grips with a loss. We had all had our own losses of various degrees of awfulness. The really surprising thing was how quickly we came to trust each other. On the first day we had a practical exercise, when we had to tell a story that had happened to us - another was a 'listener' and the third an observer. Even on that occasion, some very deep tales were told. The listening bit is the most important part of being a bereavement visitor. This pattern of excercise was often repeated. The speaker either told something of importance to themselves or played the part of someone who had a problem eg had got stuck and was not progressing through the mourning process. The listener was the one who was learning. It was a bit hair-raising sometimes. It gave you a hint as to what you might meet for real and could you cope? The observer and the speaker gave positive criticism after. I learnt that I could listen fine but there were weaknesses in the process after that. I know that I will be able to do better for real after those excercises.

We spent much time over the training period brainstorming various things such as 'what is a good/bad death', why are some people having trouble grieveing, various complictions in grief, what make good listening, handling silence. A knowledge of grief and the process of mourning and the many things that can get in the way are all helpful when trying to be helpful. The most important thing that we had to learn was that we were not there to advise or make it better. We are there to listen (always needed by someone in mourning) and to enable the mourner to make progress.

I now wait, with some trepidation, for my first call to visit.

7 comments:

mollygolver said...

Thank you for sharing your course Withy and well done too. Just listening and being there for someone in need is so good

Pam said...

Congratulations on so many levels Withy. Just the desire to do this speaks volumes. I am sure a grieving person feels isolated, as they are dealing with loss, so your first visit, much as it may be approached with trepidation for you dear Withy,will be sorely needed and appreciated. You've done the training and earned your stripes,and I'm sure you'll be brilliant putting it all in place.It seems you have a great support team to mutually help and encourage, having done the course together.

Withy Brook said...

I forgot to say that the "great support team" is always there for you and you have a supervisor to talk to at any time, especially after a visist. It can be a heavy load to carry and confidentiallity is supreme, so you cannot share with a partner/spouse.

Tattie Weasle said...

Wow Withy firstly congratulations on the course and thank you for sharing it. You'll be brilliant, I know I am very privileged to have met you.
VERY pleased to hear that there is a support team for you for taking on that responsibility is HUGE! Good Luck!

Irish Eyes said...

I cannot think of a better person to do this than you Withy. Best of good luck, and thank you for the lovely p.m.
IE

TIGGYWINKLE said...

Withy, What makes you so special is your ongoing involvement and interest in others. I can just imagine the comfort you will bring to those who are grieving.

TIGGYWINKLE said...

Withy, What makes you so special is your ongoing involvement and interest in others. I can just imagine the comfort you will bring to those who are grieving.